On a crisp December morning in my small Southern hometown, my mother found my brother unresponsive in his bed. She knew she was too late. His body was cold, stiff and blue. Blood had pooled on one side of his face, causing it to swell. After her initial panic and calls to my father and 911, she was alone with my brother. She instinctively did what any mother would do: She covered him with blankets and lay down with him. She wanted to hold her son one more time.
When law enforcement officers arrived, they performed testing to confirm fentanyl overdose was the cause of death. When the test turned positive, they informed my parents that it was unsafe to enter my brother’s room. They instructed my parents to schedule expensive decontamination cleaning and provided contact information for a “bio cleaning” agency that deals with hazardous substances and environments.
The following day at the funeral home, where my brother’s body awaited cremation, my family and I were told that we would not be allowed to be in the same room with him because of the risk of fentanyl exposure and accidental overdose. It was unsafe for us to breathe the air in the room of someone who died “that way,” we were told. A funeral home employee told stories of family members who had lost consciousness after viewing loved ones who had died from fentanyl overdose, and of one family member who overdosed and died after visiting a deceased relative.
I was intent on seeing my brother. And as a physician who cares for patients who use fentanyl, I knew these claims were incorrect. I informed the employees that their policy was based on false information and incomplete anecdotes, and that they are needlessly depriving families of opportunities to see their loved ones. They relented only when we accepted responsibility for any potential exposure.
Spending time with my brother’s body was painful for all of us, but it was important for our grief process. We said goodbye through tears and held my brother’s hand one last time. Most important, it allowed my mother to see him resting peacefully, providing an alternative final image she can carry.
For the past few years, over 70,000 overdose deaths in the United States have involved synthetic opioids, primarily fentanyl and its analogues. Most families grieving these deaths won’t have a doctor in the family to dispute misconceptions perpetuated by law enforcement, funeral homes and others. How many American families are being unnecessarily deprived of a somber, sacred moment based on stigma and rumors?
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