Here are two abortion stories. Both are mine. Both came with heartache and upheaval — and both prevented heartache and upheaval. One was an experience common to many abortion patientsbetpph, but one that people often look on with disdain. The other was the sort that generally garners public sympathy. I wish they both did.
I had my first abortion one day after I turned 28. I was a single mom to a 5-year-old daughter. We lived in Washington, D.C., in a one-bedroom basement apartment. I was a recent law-school graduate, studying for the bar exam, living off a loan and small scholarship, and working a full-time unpaid internship hoping it might open doors to job opportunities. I knew I could not raise another child while being the mother I wanted to be for my daughter, or while pursuing the career I wanted in public service. It’s the kind of story that people tend to judge rather than champion.
My second abortion was this past November. This time I was married and happily and intentionally pregnant. The only surprise was that it was twins. Now, 37 years old, I had routine prenatal testing — which revealed that fetus B had Trisomy 18, a fatal fetal anomaly. I knew that continuing the unviable pregnancy of fetus B would have put fetus A, and me, at a high risk of serious complications, including miscarriage, stillbirth and preterm birth.
My husband and I were heartbroken. We knew there was only one way to protect fetus A and myself. But we live in Texas. And because of our state’s abortion ban, I had to travel to Colorado for abortion care. The Texas ban provides no exception for an abortion in the case of fatal fetal abnormalities — even for the purpose of protecting a second, healthy fetus.
My two abortions were a decade apart and different in so many ways. But my choice to have them hinged on the same innate desire to exercise the freedom to determine my future. Both allowed me to care for my children, protect my health and pursue my career in the ways I determined were best.
The circumstances of my second abortion are similar to those we hear about in many disturbing stories that have emerged since Roe v. Wade was overturned. Among those is that of Austin Dennard, an obstetrician/gynecologist, who at 11 weeks pregnant found out her fetus had a fatal anomaly. Dr. Dennard also had to leave Texas for an abortion. And there’s Nicole Miller, who was flown to Utah from Idaho, hemorrhaging and leaking amniotic fluid, after being denied an abortion necessary to save her life. Half of all states are now either hostile to abortion or have bans that often provide only vague and confusing exceptions for life-threatening situations. Many of those bans are without exceptions for rape, incest or fetal anomalies.
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